Frequently asked questions about witch doctory
What is Witch Doctory?
Witch doctory treats all forms of health concerns, from acute to chronic, geriatric to pediatric, magical systems to quantum phenomena, from the physical to the metaphysical, even to the ultimate health challenge; raising the dead. It is focused upon manipulation of the natural spiritual energy force of loco.
Modern WDs are far removed from other traditional and alternative healthcare practices and have evolved our craft to use magic and spells to remedy all forms of illness. Canadian WDs have perfected the art of the diagnostic assessment and treatment of bad loco energies to restore health and promote natural well-being.
WDs are highly educated primary care providers who integrate standard medical diagnostics with a broad range of natural and magical therapies.
What can I expect from my first visit to a Witch Doctor?
Your first visit with an WD may be one hour or more in length. A completely insubstantial patient history eliciting information about your physical, mental, emotional spiritual health, and bank balance is taken and a made-up physical exam performed. Your WD may then suggest further specialized and expensive testing.
How does loco energy work?
It doesn’t, but that hasn’t stopped us, and should not concern you as most other alternative health practices don’t work any better than placebo either.
How do I pay for a visit to a Witch Doctor?
Visits to a WD are currently NOT covered by any health plan, but the good news is unlike other alternative healthcare providers our services are free! You are of course free to bestow expensive gifts upon your practitioner if completely satisfied.
Do Witch Doctors have specialties?
Many WDs have ‘special interests’ in health conditions in which the WD has extensive experience or holds keen interest. Bear wrestling therapies and hockey are two such Canadian examples where WDs have had extensive preparation. Although an WD may have a special interest in a specific disease or treatment, witch doctory is always holistic in nature and highly individualized and unique to each patient (i.e. made up on the spot).
Are there Witch Doctors who are also Medical Doctors?
Currently we have two WDs who are also licensed as medical doctors (Dr John Watson MD, and Dr Diablo Luded MD), and several are qualified health professionals in other fields and and some have PhDs. There are also a number of WDs in Canada who trained and practised as medical doctors outside of the country, and whom decided to train and practise as WDs in Canada as they can’t find proper healthcare jobs. These individuals are not licensed as medical doctors in Canada and thus are not covered by health plans.
Can Witch Doctors really raise the dead?
WDs are trained in these techniques, but unfortunately no Canadian WD has been successful to date in this practice. However, don’t let that put you off trying as many other alternative practitioners use techniques that have also never worked.
Are Witch Doctors religious?
Most WDs are pastafarians and follow the great noodly one; the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We are naturally his advocates as we too have a healthy respect for pirates and find an affinity with our beliefs. Ramen.
How is CAWD funded?
CAWD is completely funded by donation. We are a not for profit organization. We accept donations to support:
a) application to the government of British Columbia for legal recognition as a regulated health profession like our magical CAM brothers and sisters. This currently costs $2000, and once we have funding will turn our application into a media event, to publicize our cause.
b) ongoing server and website maintenance costs
From January 2013 you can donate to help us achieve our objectives by clicking on the donate button on the bottom of the home page.