Modern Canadian Witch Doctors are alternative magical healthcare practitioners, and are not associated in any way with traditional healers, aboriginal healers in Canada or beyond (who have their own well-established beliefs and practices). We are alternative medical practitioners and our practice is solely concerned with the diagnosis, and manipulation of the magical spiritual energy which we term “loco.” 

CAWD is our professional association and self-regulatory association for qualified witch doctors (WDs) across Canada.It has no links or associations with other CAM healthcare organizations.

GOALS

As the professional regulatory body for Canadian witch doctors we seek to gain recognition of our profession so we are able to give orders to subordinate professions and prescribe medications as well as spells. We plan to apply for legal recognition in the health acts of provinces and territories where legislation and regulation is more lax, where forward thinking governments wish to bring scientific and mystical medicine together, and where there is less value placed on scientific evidence based practice or public health outcomes (such as British Columbia and Ontario). Other alternative health professionals have had remarkable success in this respect, and we seek to follow their lead. If necessary, we are prepared to mount a challenge as a human rights issue for equivalent status with our recognized brother/sister professions.

Like other healthcare practitioners that use mystical and magical approaches to health we seek to promote better understanding of our disciplne, and dispel myths about its practice.

We seek to gain status as an all-encompassing doctoral prepared CAM profession, as our practice encompasses all of the metaphysical elements of other CAM professions, which are clearly inferior to witch doctery (as they are far younger, and do not even have their own theme songs).

To learn more about the CAWD or to find a witch doctor near you, please contact us. To learn more about non-science based medicine and its questionable benefits click here.

MODERN WITCH DOCTORS

Modern WDs are far removed from other traditional and alternative healthcare practices and have evolved our craft to use magic and spells to remedy all forms of illness. Canadian WDs have perfected the art of the diagnostic assessment and treatment of bad loco energies to restore health and promote natural well-being.

Modern WDs seek to alleviate all forms of ill health through the manipulation of loco energy. WD is a distinct primary health care system that blends modern scientific knowledge with magical and natural forms of medicine. The WD philosophy is to stimulate the healing power of the body by manipulating loco energies to treat the underlying cause of disease. WD emphasizes disease as a process rather than as an entity, and that naturalistic solutions are superior to all others.

Treating both acute and chronic conditions, WD treatments are chosen based on the individual patient, their physiological, structural, psychological, social, spiritual, environment, personal lifestyle, and whatever else we can think of at the time. In addition to diet and lifestyle changes, our natural therapies include botanical medicine, clinical nutrition, hydrotherapy, homeopathy, and lots of other insubstantial weird made up stuff with no empirical basis.

WDs adopt the well established post-modern alternative epistemological basis of “nature is always better.” Many of todays health and societal problems are caused by humans ignoring nature and adopting bio-technological solutions to health. This has led to severe overpopulation issues across the globe, and an intolerable situation where life expectancy has risen considerably. When given “natural” support only, the body will usually die by the age of 50, most likely due to infectious diseases or injuries. Modern advances in medicine have made long-life and improved quality of life possible for millions, and this unnatural state of affairs must cease. WDs like our CAM colleagues are against all forms of unnatural technology (of course, with the exception of luxury German cars, the Internet, Swiss watches, espresso machines, and cosmetic dentistry).

The WD profession’s infrastructure also includes an accredited educational institution, professional licensing, national standards of practice, unsolicited participation in many federal and provincial health initiatives, and commitment to state-of-the-art non-scientific and pseudo-scientific research. We are pround to take our rightful place in Canadian healthcare promoting therapies that do nothing more than placebo and offer our services freely.

HISTORY

WDs have an ancient and long history, going back to the beginning of mankind in Africa over 50,000 years ago, far longer than any other complementary and alternative medical (CAM)  practitioners. CAM practitioners often claim an ancient and rich history as evidence of their validity, and in this respects WDs have the ultimate heritage! WDs were practising their healing crafts long before others. The WD was originally a type of healer who treated ailments caused by magic. In its original meaning, a WD was emphatically not a witch but the person who supplied remedies to protect others against witchcraft. Canadian WDs evolved from these practices to their current state of the art, with the discovery and manipulation of loco spiritual energies (loco energies can only be detected by our highly-educated and fully accredited WDs).

PERSECUTION

Sadly WDs have been persecuted through much of history. They were the victims of witch hunts that took place between 1480-1750 in Europe and North America. Before 1750 Witch Hunting was legally sanctioned and involved official witchcraft trials, during which many thousands of WDs perished. The effects of these beliefs still exist today with many people being suspicious or fearing WDs, even though modern WDs are benevolent folks who only wish to bring peace and well-being to those who are suffering the effects of bad loco.

FUNDING

As a part of our code of conduct unlike many other CAM professionals Canadian witch doctors do not charge for their services, as a) there is no need because of the WDs awesome powers of manipulating loco and good fortune, and b) as we acknowledge none of our practices actually work.

The CAWD is considering a legal application in British Columbia for registration as a regulated health profession (as achieved by naturopaths and others). This will require a $2000 fee, and if there is sufficient interest by members we will register as an official not-for-profit corporation and commence fundraising. Please join us, and indicate your support either as a registered WD or honorary WD by visiting the “Join Us” page, or by making a donation on our home page.