It is with great excitement that I report another academic paper has been accepted at a forthcoming prestigious conference on Tissue Viability and Biobanking for 2015! See: http://biobanking.conferenceseries.com/index.php
We received an email from the conference organizers requesting our participation so sent in the following abstract, which I laboured over for at least 2 minutes:
Tissue Preservation in Zombies
This paper will outline a method of witchdoctors casting spells to turn deceased individuals into zombies, and therefore preserving their tissues indefinitely. In experimental trials carried out between 2012-14 (N=50) zombies were analyzed for tissue degradation. In 90% of cases most tissues had survived intact, with minor superficial discoloration and vascular damage. There was evidence of some flesh becoming ischemic and dropping away but major organs and muscle groups remained intact. We feel this offers significant evidence of a novel tissue-preservation technique.
We received this response last week:
On 2015-02-18, 4:05 AM, “Biobanking-2015” <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
Dear Dr Wen Shortispy
Thank you for submitting your abstract . Your Abstract is reviewed by our QC team and accepted for Oral presentation at Biobanking-2015. Kindly do register to confirm your participation from the following link: http://biobanking.conferenceseries.com/registration.php
Feel free to contact for further queries.
Sincerely, Isaac Bruce
Program Manager Biobanking-2015 Immunology Conferences
Phone +1-650-268-9744 Fax +1-650-618-1414 Toll free +1-800-216-6499
I must say, it is gratifying to see their excellent quality control team and Dr. Bruce are such forward thinkers, and open to hearing about our novel techniques (that have caused us the odd spot of bother with some ethical approval committees in the past). We look forward to attending and spreading the word of our great therapies to other such enlightened academics.
Dr. Wen Shortispy – CAWD Witchfinder General